Thursday, November 16, 2006

There's no good title for this.

My husband was fired. Right before the holidays, right after we made The Big Decision (and knowing us, it will happen whether we actively try or try not to.)

I usually am able to be supportive at times like this. But right now...

I fell like I'm going to break.

Of course, I've been feeling that way for quite a while right now, with the stresses of this job. But I'm usually the one who tells my husband that it will work out for the best, that It Will Be Okay, after things like this happen. Today he had to do that for me. Which isn't fair since he already feels rotten.

I just can't be strong right now, as much as he needs me to. I'm praying for strength.

Emma knows something's wrong, she's been hugging us and kissing us and saying, "I love you!" in her cutest little angel voice. I'm trying really hard not to let my mood leak out into my interactions with her. I don't know how long I'll be able to (although having more help with the kids will probably prolong my ability.)

So tomorrow the job search begins again.

Please pray for us. I know a lot of you have what I think of as "real problems", like you've got degenerative diseases and family members dying and husbands overseas while you give birth to your child alone and then take care of him on the military base, along with your older kids, and your parents and in-laws can't make it to help you out-- those are classed in my head as "real problems." But me, I'm weak. I feel weak right now. Which, I suppose, can be a good thing, I tend toward pride and arrogance and I know I need a lot of humbling to be able to come to that broken heart and contrite spirit. But I'd appreciate your prayers anyway, so I can get through this with grace.

If I didn't have my friends, I honestly don't know what I would do. You all are my lifeline when things get rough. May I have permission to hang on tight?


Super Happy Girl said...

I'm so sorry Anne.
I totally understand you, don’t feel bad for feeling weak, hey, who wouldn't?

I think it’s easier for someone who is outside of the problem to sound all cheery and “everything is going to be ok” like.

I look in my life the times that things have been -apparently- heading straight downhill. Now I can look back and think that actually those times things did turn out good at the end. It might take time, it might take prayer, and as you said, it might take humbling, but remember, just a few days Heavenly father gave you not one, but two signs for your Big decision. So you know, hold on Anne, you are going to get through this, He’s got your back.

Jenn L in Chicago said...

I'm going to agree with NGS's comment. He gave you multiple signs that the Big Decision was what He wanted for you, and He wouldn't completely abandon you now.

Now, I want you to contact me (my email is in my Hatrack profile, I don't want to post it in public for obvious reasons) and tell me what I can send you to help you get through. That includes ideas for Christmas presents (I haven't looked at the Hatrack Exchange thread because I'm not participating this year). And I'm completely serious about this.


Millie said...

Oh, Anne. I'm so sorry. That was pretty cheesy of his employer, to say the least.

If you haven't already, call your RS president right away and let her know. If you need some help with Christmas, she can probably pull some strings. She'll want to know anyway. And just know we're here for you.

Mean Mommy said...

Oh dear. I'm sorry. :(

Hang on as tight as you need to. You're going to make it.

I'm more than happy to help out and mail stuff too. Just let me know. You've probably got a gazillion copies of my email from the cookbook. ;)

Anne/kq said...

Oh, gosh, guys, thank you.

We'll be okay. Really. My dad and mom and aunt all live in the area, and they spoil our kids at the best of times, I hate to see what the worst is going to look like! ;) I'm just a little overwhelmed right now. My dad will make sure our rent and car payment get paid. We're not short on food and my dad buys us fresh fruits and veggies at the Farmer's Market every week, too.

Two years in a row of being fired/laid off just before the holidays is a little harsh, though. :(

Anonymous said...

Oh, Sweetie, I'm so sorry. I understand exactly how you feel, as it's happened to us, too. :(

Please, do take us all up on our offers of help. Let your friends help carry you. I know you don't think you need us to send you stuff, but what if we need to send it for ourselves? Would you deny us the opportunity to do a good thing for a friend in need?

I love you Dear. Give Jeff a hug and give the girls sugars from their "Aunt" Rayann. It'll be okay. Really, it will.


Lana said...

Oh no,Anne, this is horrible!

You will make it through though. It happened to me years ago and my husband did find another job. It happens to a lot of people. The timeing sure does stink though!

Hang in there!

Anne/kq said...

(If for any reason you want our real name(s), you can e-mail for that, too.)

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry! What a bad time to have this happen. (I know it sounds totally cheezy) but I'll be praying for your family.

Anne/kq said...

I have deleted our address. If you want it now, you're gonna have to e-mail me for it. ;)

Anonymous said...

*hugs* I'm sorry, sweetie. Call me - I'd love to talk to you.

Dawnyel said...

This is A VERY "real problem!" Don't put yourself down like that! What you're going thru is VERY real, and VERY hard!! (I know, we've been there before!) My husband was ALSO fired right before Christmas...on top of that we had MORE financial problems to come, but do you know what? It ALL worked out okay. We're not billionaires by ANY stretch of the imagination, but we've got sufficient for our needs!
I totally agree with Millie, CALL your RS pres! And we'll be praying for your family! *HUGS*

Suzanne said...

How heartbreaking for your family! Heavenly Father seems to have this way of bringing us to our knees time after time, doesn't He? I think it's what keeps us humble.

I know things probably don't seem like they're making much sense after your "Big Decision." I do know this. I got pregnant with my 2nd at a time that was hard for our family, but if I would have waited, he still wouldn't be born yet, because things got much harder later. If you feel strongly about getting pregnant, I'd say go for it once you have insurance again. Now might still be a better time than later.

God has a purpose. He has a plan. Sometimes we don't understand what it is, but we can pray for peace and strength, even when we feel like we have nothing left to give. We can't make the trial go away, but I have a testimoney that we can still feel peace.

Good luck! :)

Good luck and hopefully

Anne/kq said...

"Once I have insurance again"-- ha ha ha! I haven't been properly insured since I was 18.

But thank you for your insight and good wishes. :)

Anonymous said...

Sending prayers your way!!

Awesome Mom said...

I will be praying that things work out for you and your family. It is hard not to get troubled when things do not appear to be working out how we think they should.

Kira Marx said...

What kind of horrible grinch fires someone right before the holidays?

I'm here for you, in any way you need. I'm saying Tehillim (Psalms) for y'all - the ones for livelihood, which are 23, 34, 36, 62, 65, 67, 85, 104, 121, 136, 144, and 145.