My husband was fired. Right before the holidays, right after we made The Big Decision (and knowing us, it will happen whether we actively try or try not to.)
I usually am able to be supportive at times like this. But right now...
I fell like I'm going to break.
Of course, I've been feeling that way for quite a while right now, with the stresses of this job. But I'm usually the one who tells my husband that it will work out for the best, that It Will Be Okay, after things like this happen. Today he had to do that for me. Which isn't fair since he already feels rotten.
I just can't be strong right now, as much as he needs me to. I'm praying for strength.
Emma knows something's wrong, she's been hugging us and kissing us and saying, "I love you!" in her cutest little angel voice. I'm trying really hard not to let my mood leak out into my interactions with her. I don't know how long I'll be able to (although having more help with the kids will probably prolong my ability.)
So tomorrow the job search begins again.
Please pray for us. I know a lot of you have what I think of as "real problems", like you've got degenerative diseases and family members dying and husbands overseas while you give birth to your child alone and then take care of him on the military base, along with your older kids, and your parents and in-laws can't make it to help you out-- those are classed in my head as "real problems." But me, I'm weak. I feel weak right now. Which, I suppose, can be a good thing, I tend toward pride and arrogance and I know I need a lot of humbling to be able to come to that broken heart and contrite spirit. But I'd appreciate your prayers anyway, so I can get through this with grace.
If I didn't have my friends, I honestly don't know what I would do. You all are my lifeline when things get rough. May I have permission to hang on tight?