This is for "Flash Fiction Friday," which I'm doing because it looks fun and for no other reason. I'm not usually into writing with a prompt, but the picture grabbed me; I'm not sure how good I'll be at keeping it short, or keeping it fiction and not poetry, but I'll just see what comes out. I'm not sure this will be totally what she had in mind but she told me to do what I wanted, so I will. So there. ;)
Crooked
I stand and gaze at the ancient stones, worn and moss-covered. The building leans, its foundation weakened because it was built on a soft spot and constructed slightly out of true.
Like me, I think.
If the builders had known then how it would look now, would they have picked a different spot to build on? Would they have been more careful in their measurements, in choosing their stones? Or did they not care? Did they only mean the building to be temporary, to be left behind and replaced when they were through and moved on?
I hadn't cared, although I hadn't known what the final damage would be at the time. Sheryl had cared, but she didn't notice the way I leaned or the bogginess of my soul until it was too late.
I bend to tighten my bootlace, then move on.
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12 comments:
I like it, kq. :-) It reads a bit like a teaser - it makes me want to know more about the narrator and Sheryl and their relationship/story. I know next to nothing about writing, but I bet you could use that as a jumping-off point for something bigger.
It's certainly nothing to be embarassed by. :-)
Pretty interesting. I like how you capture the feelings of your narrator through the external description of the ruins.
Wow. You did a really good job of capturing a moment.
Very introspective. I can see layers hidden underneath this. How could you possibly think you can't write fiction?! This is very good! Be nice to see you expand on it.
This looks like a great start to something longer. A nice introduction to a character - and I want to know what happened to Sheryl!
Oh, I'm hooked. It does seem like the beginning of something interesting - Who is Sheryl???
Seems like you handled that just fine. :) Hope to see more from you next week :)
KQ... I liked it. For some reason it reminds me of the little old lady who lived in a shoe. The person is worn, but still wanting to provide more and better. Not sure if this comment make sense.
Though this is all that came to me at the time, I think the narrator murdered Sheryl. Just so you're not all left hanging. :p
(He's a man, btw. They lived together. I think.)
Huh. Then I definitely want to read more. That makes it potentially much much more interesting. :)
I enjoyed the read and also liked the way you brought out his character through the architecture. :)
Thanks for playing. :D
Very poetic.
Anne,
I do so enjoy reading your blog, and the wonderful posts you have left for Aerin Amelia all this long and troubled year..
You are a delight and a blessing..
Kira and Aerin's
Grandnana
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